Best burgers in Hobart

What are the best burgers available for consumption in Hobart?

This is a post I started at the start of the year whilst living in Hobart, Tasmania.  If you find yourself in Hobart, and in need of a burger here is a quick guide.

Rating system

The rating systems I am using is based on a 5-star system. The burger is the star, with chips also in consideration.

***** - Awesome - worthy of a trip in its own right

**** - great, Significantly better taste and value than a Maccas quarter pounder

*** - good enough - the standard here is a Maccas quarter pounder value meal
** - acceptable if Maccas isn't within walking distance.
* - just don't even think of it.

One Star Burgers 

Hogsbreath 

The most boring burger in the history of burgerdom.  I ordered a cheeseburger at Hogsbreath on an "oh they do burgers" moment when I was just not wanting a steak.  Now to be fair the burger is not the headline at Hogsbreath, it's not in their steak or ribs range.  It seems that as soon as you go away from their hero items on the menu you just get served pale imitations of food.  Its like the chef has seen a burger before, and knows how to produce food safely, but has no idea of how to produce a burger with any taste.  There is a danger from eating the cheeseburger here, in  that the taste may allow you to drop into a boredom induced coma.  Particularly when the waiters have the annoying habit of swarming you whilst conversing about what to order, then disappearing once the decision is made.

Hungry Jacks

This should be a position of shame for HJ's.  normally the whopper around the rest of the world competes at worst evenly with a quarter pounder.  However in both the Hungry Jacks (Burger King outside of Australia) in Hobart this claim is just not so.  I suspect the Tasmanian pace of life, and poor comprehension may be at fault. Each time I have asked for one has been a bit of an ordeal. If you want a whopper go to the mainland, it will probably be quicker. Mainland Hungry Jacks at least seems to be able to read the company manual on burger making.

Legs and breasts

A Tasmanian staple.  The chips are bad enough, but the burgers should be investigated for product descriptions violations.  The burgers look great - they almost always look better than the photo on the wall. Howeevr; despite what looks like a mouth watering burger delivered straight from an episode of "man vs food", there is a metamorphosis on entering the mouth into gritty brown fatty sludge.  These are burgers to be admired for their looks, just don't put it into your mouth.

 Two-star burgers

Elizabeth Mall - Red bean cafe

Possibly elated by finding a cafe with seats available in the centre.  The burger here again has little to commend it.  It may be relatively cheap but is dull and lifeless.  However; the fries do save the day by having a little chunk and flavor to them.  The service is friendly and has the little cafe feel about it.  Generally though one would want to avoid this if there was a Maccas next door, hence the rating.

Pop cafe

Expensive, but average.  with painfully slow service.  Whilst the burger may be ok this cafe takes so long to get to serving it to you that you have lost the will to eat by the time it arrives.  This burger may be better than the standard, it loses rating due to the price and quality of the chips.  This gets a two-star rating not because the food is bad, its just the value, and service would make the quarter pounder next door worthwhile if there was a Maccas down the street.

Elizabeth Mall - Convenience Cafe

A mark of a bad burger is when it has been stored in the Bain-Marie for so long that the bun has desiccated and gone hard.  This seems to be the normal state for the burgers here.  Despite having a great filling, they are always let down by that rock hard bun top.

Three-star burgers

McDonalds

By definition the quarter pounder with cheese, when compared against itself is equal.  Whilst the Tasmanian idea of service may be slower, and with less comprehension than the mainland, it still maintains a fairly high standard.  As an added bonus the quality of coffee is better than New South Wales McDonalds.  Which isn't to say much; NSW McDonalds folks just can't seem to read the manuals of their coffee machines. McDonalds - never changing - always the safe go-to-but-wish-you-had-been-more-adventurous standard.

Four-star burgers

Kentucky Fried Chicken

A surprising fact that the higher the level of unemployment is in an area, the better the local KFC tastes. A Hobartian Zinger really tastes crisp, every time, with hot chips, and a good rate of getting the order correct. In fact, the only time I can remember the local KFC getting my order wrong is when they gave me an extra portion of chips; one can't complain too much when they give you extra.

Four and a Half star burgers

The Standard

Nestled in a narrow alley just visiting this place feels like you have taken a trip to the planet Hipster.  The burgers are spectacular, and the seaweed fries are well worth a try.  Whilst the food and experience of a burger here is awesome - the lack of tables, or eating surfaces detracts from the whole, as does the generally slow service.  It's a fantastic place to hunt down for a burger if you are already in town.  I recommend eating in the nearby Wellington Court, or finding a park.  

Five-star burgers

The Burger Haus

Despite being a little cramped. It feels like an assault course to get to some of the seats, the Food here is top-notch, and the atmosphere pretty cool.  It may be the crampedness gives the place its atmosphere, so maybe one can't complain too much about eating like a contortionist.  At the Burger Haus the burgers are a real treat, and the fries do not let the burger down.  

Burger Got Soul

If you have time to wait, and a little extra coin in one's pocket these burgers are definitely worth it.  particularly if you are in the Sandy Bay store and can take it into the worlds end BYO food pub.  the combination of a great fresh and juicy burger, with great chips, and a good pint works a wonder.  Without the pub this would still be a five-star joint, these burgers even taste good on  gluten free bread, and that's almost a miracle!